Question:
My husband works night shift. He works midnight to 6am 4 nights a week. Hes just taken on 2 extra shifts now so he works 5 nights a week, and 2 nights are 6pm to 6am. I never get to see him. His days off arent consecutive, so he never spends time with us on his days off because hes sleeping. I asked him a year ago if he could look for another job, and he said he would but he hasnt done anything! I love him dearly but I really cant cope for much longer. We live interstate to our family, and Im not really close to any one around this area. I used to rely on my hubby to fill that lonliness void, but now he doesnt. What can I do?
Make some friends in your local area.join a social club maybe? In Qld they have a bushwalking association - good opportunity to get out in the fresh air and see some wonderful places around your area. Not to mention the added benefit of exercise too. Maybe they have those sorts of things in Adelaide as well?
Having said that I can sympathise with your hubby but fortunately I don't do permanent nights - only one week of them a month. It is very taxing on the body and you do tend to sleep more than what you do on day shifts. Do you work as well? I gather you must because you said you never see him.or does it just feel like that because when he's at home he's asleep most of the time?
Maybe spend more time at AFW,
AFW has been great for me , we also live interstate from family and it does get hard sometimes. what part of Adelaide are you in, I am 1.5hr drive from the city !!
When we first moved here I spent allot of time a the local library and joined the local Netball club. Any sports or hobby's that you could get into ?
Make some friends in your local area.join a social club maybe?
Do you work as well? I gather you must because you said you never see him.or does it just feel like that because when he's at home he's asleep most of the time?
Ive joined a gym, a mothers group and a playgroup. Ive made a couple of friends, were just at the getting to know you stage. Im a stay at home mum with 3 boys. I study extrenally as well. My hubby sleeps ALL the time when hes not working. I am sooooo sick of it. He does help out around the house occasionally. He tries to be helpful. I just want him to get out of this job and have weekends with us again!!!
Maybe spend more time at AFW,
AFW has been great for me , we also live interstate from family and it does get hard sometimes. what part of Adelaide are you in, I am 1.5hr drive from the city !!
It is hard when family are interstate sometimes (though with some family members Im not far enough away ). Im in Elizabeth.
my dad did the night shift when he work for Coffs Harbour Council he start midnight until 900 oclock one i had a doctor appointment at 800 oclock so i had to go work with my dad. He was a very hard worker when he died there was a message of the radio too there them no Benny is very sick he work for the council for 29yrs sometimes i some of dad of mate and ask me how we all going we all miss Benny at work
You poor thing! I can relate to the loneliness thing - when we had our first bub, we moved to a farm and I was so isolated and lonely. Keeping busy with the things you've joined is a good start, but you need someone there for you now. I suppose you have to somehow get through to him. He has to somehow find a couple of hours when he's awake and with you - helping you with the kids and just being there for company and conversation. I have no idea how you can attain this as only you know him. Doesn't help much though, does it?
my DH is home all the time has been for years but i still get bloody lonely he has a very bad back 2 crippled knees has'nt been able to do much in the way of fun for years he likes TV I'm not a big fan of TV he can't dance or go for walks our kids are left home thankgod for the grandkids because they are what keep me entertained stop the lonliness i have some wonderful friends to which keep me sane but i really do know what you are going through even though i am a lot older then you are at times you just want need some adult conversation i have to say that the best thing i did last year was to find ( All For Women ) the girls here have given me so much pleasure lots lots of laughs, they have helped me so much when i have had problems ( i have had many problems lol) now my DH is telling me he is lonely, LOL
goodluck with your hubby you really need to talk to him try to explain how lonely you are try to find even just 1 really nice lady to share some of your time with apart from us girls here ofcourse LOL
Ive joined a gym, a mothers group and a playgroup. Ive made a couple of friends, were just at the getting to know you stage. Im a stay at home mum with 3 boys. I study extrenally as well. My hubby sleeps ALL the time when hes not working. I am sooooo sick of it. He does help out around the house occasionally. He tries to be helpful. I just want him to get out of this job and have weekends with us again!!!
Could he do just more 12hr shifts instead of the extra ones? That is, 4x12hr shifts rather than the six hour ones. You probably wouldn't see him much the days that he is working but at least then he'd have 3 days off a week. Two days off after nights isn't much time to turn around and live in the daylight for a while. Just a suggestion.
Permanent nights must be crappy for all of you.a shame he cant change it and do some weeks days and some weeks nights.he must miss you and the kids too.some men find it so hard to make changes.maybe that's why he hasn't looked for anything else.
Thankyou everyone, Im going to sit him down tomorrow and see if we can work something out regarding his hours. We'll see where that leads us
Answer:
Make some friends in your local area.join a social club maybe? In Qld they have a bushwalking association - good opportunity to get out in the fresh air and see some wonderful places around your area. Not to mention the added benefit of exercise too. Maybe they have those sorts of things in Adelaide as well?
Having said that I can sympathise with your hubby but fortunately I don't do permanent nights - only one week of them a month. It is very taxing on the body and you do tend to sleep more than what you do on day shifts. Do you work as well? I gather you must because you said you never see him.or does it just feel like that because when he's at home he's asleep most of the time?
Answer:
Maybe spend more time at AFW,
AFW has been great for me , we also live interstate from family and it does get hard sometimes. what part of Adelaide are you in, I am 1.5hr drive from the city !!
When we first moved here I spent allot of time a the local library and joined the local Netball club. Any sports or hobby's that you could get into ?
Answer:
Make some friends in your local area.join a social club maybe?
Do you work as well? I gather you must because you said you never see him.or does it just feel like that because when he's at home he's asleep most of the time?
Ive joined a gym, a mothers group and a playgroup. Ive made a couple of friends, were just at the getting to know you stage. Im a stay at home mum with 3 boys. I study extrenally as well. My hubby sleeps ALL the time when hes not working. I am sooooo sick of it. He does help out around the house occasionally. He tries to be helpful. I just want him to get out of this job and have weekends with us again!!!
Maybe spend more time at AFW,
AFW has been great for me , we also live interstate from family and it does get hard sometimes. what part of Adelaide are you in, I am 1.5hr drive from the city !!
It is hard when family are interstate sometimes (though with some family members Im not far enough away ). Im in Elizabeth.
Answer:
my dad did the night shift when he work for Coffs Harbour Council he start midnight until 900 oclock one i had a doctor appointment at 800 oclock so i had to go work with my dad. He was a very hard worker when he died there was a message of the radio too there them no Benny is very sick he work for the council for 29yrs sometimes i some of dad of mate and ask me how we all going we all miss Benny at work
Answer:
You poor thing! I can relate to the loneliness thing - when we had our first bub, we moved to a farm and I was so isolated and lonely. Keeping busy with the things you've joined is a good start, but you need someone there for you now. I suppose you have to somehow get through to him. He has to somehow find a couple of hours when he's awake and with you - helping you with the kids and just being there for company and conversation. I have no idea how you can attain this as only you know him. Doesn't help much though, does it?
Answer:
my DH is home all the time has been for years but i still get bloody lonely he has a very bad back 2 crippled knees has'nt been able to do much in the way of fun for years he likes TV I'm not a big fan of TV he can't dance or go for walks our kids are left home thankgod for the grandkids because they are what keep me entertained stop the lonliness i have some wonderful friends to which keep me sane but i really do know what you are going through even though i am a lot older then you are at times you just want need some adult conversation i have to say that the best thing i did last year was to find ( All For Women ) the girls here have given me so much pleasure lots lots of laughs, they have helped me so much when i have had problems ( i have had many problems lol) now my DH is telling me he is lonely, LOL
goodluck with your hubby you really need to talk to him try to explain how lonely you are try to find even just 1 really nice lady to share some of your time with apart from us girls here ofcourse LOL
Answer:
Ive joined a gym, a mothers group and a playgroup. Ive made a couple of friends, were just at the getting to know you stage. Im a stay at home mum with 3 boys. I study extrenally as well. My hubby sleeps ALL the time when hes not working. I am sooooo sick of it. He does help out around the house occasionally. He tries to be helpful. I just want him to get out of this job and have weekends with us again!!!
Could he do just more 12hr shifts instead of the extra ones? That is, 4x12hr shifts rather than the six hour ones. You probably wouldn't see him much the days that he is working but at least then he'd have 3 days off a week. Two days off after nights isn't much time to turn around and live in the daylight for a while. Just a suggestion.
Answer:
Permanent nights must be crappy for all of you.a shame he cant change it and do some weeks days and some weeks nights.he must miss you and the kids too.some men find it so hard to make changes.maybe that's why he hasn't looked for anything else.
Answer:
Thankyou everyone, Im going to sit him down tomorrow and see if we can work something out regarding his hours. We'll see where that leads us