Question:
My Brother has been with his girlfriend now for nearly 8 years. They started going out in high school and they moved in together when he turned 18 and they had a baby 2 years ago now. My Beautiful niece Thalia god i love and adore her so much.
The problem is ever since he's started dating her he's been slowly cutting off my whole family. My mum had a fight with the gf and so they cut her out pretty much I've seen my niece about 3 or 4 times in the last year which almost breaks my heart. we forgot my nieces birthday a few weeks ago we all had a lot on and i was outta town but i know it's terrible not that we were even invited over for her birthday or anything so now we're all cut off from them even my cousins and aunt and uncle.
I don't know what to do as much as i want to see my niece and i miss my brother i don't wanna put up with this from them any longer. they don't include us and yet are upset if we don't turn up.
any advice would be appreciated.
Jewel, have you spoken to your brother about your concerns? This happened in my ex's family, one son cut off the entire family because of his wife.
Who knows why people do this, their reasons are their own but they will always be family so all you can do is be there for your brother (and niece), let him know that he may have cut you off for whatever reason but you're not going anywhere. if he needs you, you will be there.
Wives/Husbands/Lovers come and go but family is forever.
I agree Jewel.contact your brother and discuss things with him.explain how much your little niece means to you and that you would like to be a part of her life.
Good Luck.families are hard work
we've all tried talking to him about it he claims there's nothing wrong and yet still doesn't include us in any part of his life. and now we've done something to upset them i doubt it will change.
I wish i could say that I'm not going anywhere but i just cant stand being treated like this by my own brother. the rejection of not being included in their lives it just hurts too much.
I am in a family of 6.my brothers and sisters dont have anything to do with each other.unless they meet in the street, they will stop to have a chat.each is busy with their own lives and their own families.I moved to Q (they are all in NSW) and I have more contact with them they the siblings who live in the next suburb.
I think in some families they just get caught up in thier own thing.maybe he isn't doing it deliberately and doesn't mean to hurt you.
Maybe your right Teena i know i get caught up with my life and everything. We just grew up close thats all but things change i guess. it's just they deliberately didn't go to our cousins engagement on the weekend because we missed Thalia's birthday.
It's so sad when families have falling outs, especially when there are young children involved, as with you and your neice.
My DH's siblings don't speak to him at all and this started when his first marriage broke up. (He thinks it had something to do with his ex being a bitch and saying something to them to upset them with him) His own kids (from that marriage) don't even bother with him, they are all for their mother and her side. And yet, he, to this day, still does not know what happened or why they are like that.
I suppose they have their reasons as does your brother.
He has given up trying to figure them out and asking for their reasons. You can only try so much before letting a dead dog lie. He has accepted the situation and is quite content now with our little family.
You just can't seem to win with some people and you know the old saying, You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family!
Maybe you could take a proactive approach - start inviting them over regularly, call them, offer to babysit, etc. I'm not saying become a stalker but maybe if you get the ball rolling it might all fall into place. Soemtimes we all become complacent in our lives and don't realise something's gone until it's too late.
i may have to just accept it like Jen said cause i have tried inviting them over or arrange a time to go see them they just say they're always busy so when i try and just pop in after work or on the weekend they're never home.
i may just have to give up i can't make them involve us but i can be there for if they ever want to include me.
Thanks for all your advice
The problem is ever since he's started dating her he's been slowly cutting off my whole family. My mum had a fight with the gf and so they cut her out pretty much I've seen my niece about 3 or 4 times in the last year which almost breaks my heart. we forgot my nieces birthday a few weeks ago we all had a lot on and i was outta town but i know it's terrible not that we were even invited over for her birthday or anything so now we're all cut off from them even my cousins and aunt and uncle.
I don't know what to do as much as i want to see my niece and i miss my brother i don't wanna put up with this from them any longer. they don't include us and yet are upset if we don't turn up.
any advice would be appreciated.
Answer:
Jewel, have you spoken to your brother about your concerns? This happened in my ex's family, one son cut off the entire family because of his wife.
Who knows why people do this, their reasons are their own but they will always be family so all you can do is be there for your brother (and niece), let him know that he may have cut you off for whatever reason but you're not going anywhere. if he needs you, you will be there.
Wives/Husbands/Lovers come and go but family is forever.
Answer:
I agree Jewel.contact your brother and discuss things with him.explain how much your little niece means to you and that you would like to be a part of her life.
Good Luck.families are hard work
Answer:
we've all tried talking to him about it he claims there's nothing wrong and yet still doesn't include us in any part of his life. and now we've done something to upset them i doubt it will change.
I wish i could say that I'm not going anywhere but i just cant stand being treated like this by my own brother. the rejection of not being included in their lives it just hurts too much.
Answer:
I am in a family of 6.my brothers and sisters dont have anything to do with each other.unless they meet in the street, they will stop to have a chat.each is busy with their own lives and their own families.I moved to Q (they are all in NSW) and I have more contact with them they the siblings who live in the next suburb.
I think in some families they just get caught up in thier own thing.maybe he isn't doing it deliberately and doesn't mean to hurt you.
Answer:
Maybe your right Teena i know i get caught up with my life and everything. We just grew up close thats all but things change i guess. it's just they deliberately didn't go to our cousins engagement on the weekend because we missed Thalia's birthday.
Answer:
It's so sad when families have falling outs, especially when there are young children involved, as with you and your neice.
My DH's siblings don't speak to him at all and this started when his first marriage broke up. (He thinks it had something to do with his ex being a bitch and saying something to them to upset them with him) His own kids (from that marriage) don't even bother with him, they are all for their mother and her side. And yet, he, to this day, still does not know what happened or why they are like that.
I suppose they have their reasons as does your brother.
He has given up trying to figure them out and asking for their reasons. You can only try so much before letting a dead dog lie. He has accepted the situation and is quite content now with our little family.
You just can't seem to win with some people and you know the old saying, You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family!
Answer:
Maybe you could take a proactive approach - start inviting them over regularly, call them, offer to babysit, etc. I'm not saying become a stalker but maybe if you get the ball rolling it might all fall into place. Soemtimes we all become complacent in our lives and don't realise something's gone until it's too late.
Answer:
i may have to just accept it like Jen said cause i have tried inviting them over or arrange a time to go see them they just say they're always busy so when i try and just pop in after work or on the weekend they're never home.
i may just have to give up i can't make them involve us but i can be there for if they ever want to include me.
Thanks for all your advice